It feels very different than in years past. It’s relaxed. __wolverine__ is happy about the holiday for the first time in years. And we are enjoying one of the best times in our relationship ever. But this is how it is supposed to be. This is what I have spent my whole life believing in but never experiencing. We have been through so much and are incredibly close as a result.
I am thankful to be in this moment and aware of what I have.
I had one of the more visceral epiphanies of my life yesterday. It came out of nowhere but I nearly threw up because it sickened me to truly comprehend this… understanding. Over the course of several hours, I faced it, owned it and harvested the good from it.
I worked hard for this space in time. This peace. This prosperity. In spite of giving up so much of myself to the wrong people (though never for the wrong reasons). And I am lucky. I came out the other side of it all with a lot of scars but with my humanity in tact and a type of power that I haven’t once used in the dark ways I have every right to embrace, considering what all has come to pass.
I am ridiculously thankful I met someone who gave me such an incredible amount of perspective that I have been in the process of healing as well as letting go of so much old baggage in the weeks since that fateful night. That whole encounter is still sinking in and working its quiet magic.
I suppose you can call all of this comfortable. It’s new. It isn’t intoxicating in the least, which I tend to favor, but so sweet all the same.
Bring it on like there is no tomorrow.