There is still something very powerful in the air. Most people feel it now - not just the crystal huggers, astrology nuts or spiritually inclined. Some of the most logical people I know who live well entrenched in the land of science have remarked upon it. It has me wondering what it could be. A shared social karma over the things done in the name of our country? The foreshadowing of an economy about to tank in epically depression-like proportions? Or is it some cosmic energy showering down upon our little dirt ball, affecting vibrations, emotions and brain waves?
Regardless of what it is, I am endeavoring to cling to an inner calm. I see very little reason to add to the misery with my own special tongue lashings or thoughtlessness though I've not been entirely successful. But I strive for that elusive perfection all the same. It is better than not attempting it at all.
Speaking of the truly strange, I have not told the tale of the tenacious little pigeon who lives in a corner of a stairwell smack in the midst of massive human traffic.
As you can see by the image I snapped with my pink RAZR that the hapless pigeon built her next in the most unfortunate of spots for a concerned mother. The corner she chose is shared with a door that sees quite a bit of action.
I know it sounds a bit silly but I spend quite a bit of time being concerned about her and her two eggs. I worry that someone will touch the eggs, which will make the mother abandon them as the human smell will scare her away. Worse, I think about someone flying through that door and smashing both mother as well as eggs against the wall. Most of the time, she is wise enough to get out of the way of the door motion but there was one time, which I now know to be during her birthing of the second egg, where she would not move. She just squashed herself into that corner as I gingerly opened the door, trying not to hurt her all while hoping she'd just damn well move.
I have no idea how this poor pigeon means to raise her hatchlings safely. This nest was not the most brilliant move on her part. I am rooting for her and her little family. I'm not a fan of pigeons but I am a fan of tenacity. I can't help but feel as if this whole thing is a daily reminder that no matter how rough I think my life is going, I'm not trying to hatch eggs in the corner of a door jam.
My photo shoot with Charlie on Friday was worth every bit of aggravation I went through in preparation. He's a fantastic human being and a marvelous artist. I just love his mind and view of the world. I love the music on his laptop. I appreciated his patience and humanity. I learned a great deal about myself in front of a still camera with his help. The distinction of being a photo journalist gave him a sixth sense I think has been missing in most of the people I've worked with that aided me in taking down that wall I put up which so many photographers find frustrating about me. He's used to seeing people embroiled in real moments so he could see the difference. And instead of being cruel about the fact that I wasn't able to let down my guard or banish the little voice in my head that rants, we made discoveries about how to translate creating natural moments as one does while acting in front of a still camera. For the first time, I even felt that *thing* I feel when shooting a movie or on stage that indicates something good is happening. Better late than never.
I opted to fire the rest of Friday The 13th once my shoot was done. I had a couple of business calls but once those were finished, I shut down the great machine that operates my career. I had too many very bizarre exchanges with people I didn't even know between 5 am and noon just before I left to work with Charlie. When I have that many volatile and neurotic experiences with humanity, I know it is time to retire all the devices that allow people access to me.
I'm omitting a situation from all of this but you'll read about it eventually. Something very special is brewing. For now, I am protecting it and enjoying every incredible moment.