Entries by tag: fine art photography

Tenacious Pigeons And Other Musings
silent film
The last 48 hours have been such a roller coaster of fortune. One minute, things were dire. The next, something breathtaking would come to pass. It's that yin and yang of exquisite tragedy where both ends of the emotional spectrum dance together in a dizzying tango. I rarely see them dance solo these days.

There is still something very powerful in the air. Most people feel it now - not just the crystal huggers, astrology nuts or spiritually inclined. Some of the most logical people I know who live well entrenched in the land of science have remarked upon it. It has me wondering what it could be. A shared social karma over the things done in the name of our country? The foreshadowing of an economy about to tank in epically depression-like proportions? Or is it some cosmic energy showering down upon our little dirt ball, affecting vibrations, emotions and brain waves?

Regardless of what it is, I am endeavoring to cling to an inner calm. I see very little reason to add to the misery with my own special tongue lashings or thoughtlessness though I've not been entirely successful. But I strive for that elusive perfection all the same. It is better than not attempting it at all.

Speaking of the truly strange, I have not told the tale of the tenacious little pigeon who lives in a corner of a stairwell smack in the midst of massive human traffic.

As you can see by the image I snapped with my pink RAZR that the hapless pigeon built her next in the most unfortunate of spots for a concerned mother. The corner she chose is shared with a door that sees quite a bit of action.

I know it sounds a bit silly but I spend quite a bit of time being concerned about her and her two eggs. I worry that someone will touch the eggs, which will make the mother abandon them as the human smell will scare her away. Worse, I think about someone flying through that door and smashing both mother as well as eggs against the wall. Most of the time, she is wise enough to get out of the way of the door motion but there was one time, which I now know to be during her birthing of the second egg, where she would not move. She just squashed herself into that corner as I gingerly opened the door, trying not to hurt her all while hoping she'd just damn well move.

I have no idea how this poor pigeon means to raise her hatchlings safely. This nest was not the most brilliant move on her part. I am rooting for her and her little family. I'm not a fan of pigeons but I am a fan of tenacity. I can't help but feel as if this whole thing is a daily reminder that no matter how rough I think my life is going, I'm not trying to hatch eggs in the corner of a door jam.

My photo shoot with Charlie on Friday was worth every bit of aggravation I went through in preparation. He's a fantastic human being and a marvelous artist. I just love his mind and view of the world. I love the music on his laptop. I appreciated his patience and humanity. I learned a great deal about myself in front of a still camera with his help. The distinction of being a photo journalist gave him a sixth sense I think has been missing in most of the people I've worked with that aided me in taking down that wall I put up which so many photographers find frustrating about me. He's used to seeing people embroiled in real moments so he could see the difference. And instead of being cruel about the fact that I wasn't able to let down my guard or banish the little voice in my head that rants, we made discoveries about how to translate creating natural moments as one does while acting in front of a still camera. For the first time, I even felt that *thing* I feel when shooting a movie or on stage that indicates something good is happening. Better late than never.

I opted to fire the rest of Friday The 13th once my shoot was done. I had a couple of business calls but once those were finished, I shut down the great machine that operates my career. I had too many very bizarre exchanges with people I didn't even know between 5 am and noon just before I left to work with Charlie. When I have that many volatile and neurotic experiences with humanity, I know it is time to retire all the devices that allow people access to me.

I'm omitting a situation from all of this but you'll read about it eventually. Something very special is brewing. For now, I am protecting it and enjoying every incredible moment.

Perfecting The Disco Nap
"The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem." -- Theodore Rubin

"No one can go back and make a brand new start. Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." -- Source Unknown

I'm in the process of setting up a couple of photo shoots with some ladies who are very talented with a camera. I've wanted to do a documentation of the new Hollywood with an old Hollywood aesthetic for quite some time. It's become more than just an idea and a burning need so rather than shooting what I'm told, I'm taking the helm. Most of it will be black and white. If anything turns out in color, that might find its way into the finished product.

I've updated my website with all of the work I've done with nycbluegirl, which includes an image I did not post here from the vintage inspired spanking set.

I need to regain my stunning ability to do the disco nap and wake up ready to go. Being able to catch those quick hours of rest helped maximize my time but I've fallen out of practice. Meditation restores my soul but doesn't make up for some good sleep.

Happy birthday to the lovely thru_her_lens!


Makeup & Photography by nycbluegirl
Dress by azacdesigns
Models: Victoria Lane & Snow

I am in love with this one for various reasons.

A Quiet Day
white hat
I had a truly wonderful time yesterday with Snow and nycbluegirl yesterday. It was fun to be a girl on a grand scale, sipping wine while being made up into fantastical creatures. nycbluegirl's intimate approach to creation is quite brilliant. Because it takes far more time to get ready than to shoot, it's a way to break the ice before doing something real. By the time we were ready to go, I was comfortable enough to be either impish or a devious dame without having to do lots of little mental tricks to get there. The ritual of being transformed has a good deal to do with it too. It's one of my favorite parts of being a performer in any medium. It's easy to step inside of a role when you don't even recognize the face staring back at you in the mirror. Beyond that, I love being part of the renaissance nycbluegirl is experiencing in her creativity. It is inspiring. She's intensely creative on many levels and has fashioned a world via her images that is unique to her.

I was quite spent from Sunday's adventures so I opted to stay home and continue with the great Ebay project. I've added more clothing, shoes and random items at $1.

Other than that, I submitted headshots/resumes for various projects.

I'm still hunting down locations for the collaboration with ivy_blue. I'm probably going to have to be more aggressive with that. It's a new thing for me. Most producers have someone who does that for them. But this is too tiny at the moment to support a full staff.

What I Did Today....

Makeup & Photography by nycbluegirl
Dress by azacdesigns
Models: Victoria Lane & Snow

One Soul Aflame With Passion
Moving Pinup
"Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark." -- Henri Frederic Amiel

I finally grit my teeth and sorted through a number of boxes I've been avoiding. __wolverine__'s new Mac arrived and we need to clear out space for a second desk to house it. I had to drag myself through old memories and a little girl I barely recognize after so many years. It wasn't nearly as painful as when I first looked into the boxes. I've been going through a process of forgiving situations or people lately to clear out emotional landmines because there is no need to hang on to the anger. In the end, it's all for a higher cause - the clutter of the soul as well as that of our home. With the Mac we now have the power to edit films and create other art that was not possible beforehand.

It's a tedious process but I'm finally putting up all the things I just don't need on Ebay with the real intent to get it out of here rather than recoup my expenses. I've begun as many as possible at $1. I'm not nearly finished and will probably be adding to the eclectic offerings for a few days.

I'm scheduled to do a little shoot this weekend for some fine art print work. I didn't work out nearly as hard as I could have after hurting myself on the first day back to a serious fitness plan. I've gained weight though I'm fairly certain it's muscle. The batteries on my scale are dead so I can't check my BMI to know for certain. I'm going by inches lost in certain places. That slower than desired progress aside, I'm excited about being able to express myself and plunge into a fantasy world for a few hours. Plus, I just love my experience thus far with the photographer. I know we'll do beautiful work together.

I need to go force myself to relax and get some rest. I can't afford to go on vampire hours while I'm auditioning heavily.


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