Last night I went to the final performance of Cirque Berzerk in Los Angeles.  It was a completely sold out show with one of the most highly integrated audiences I have ever seen for what was a subculture phenomenon.  It's was powerful statement that indicated the brilliance and fantastical nature of the production.  For me, it lived up to the hype and exceeded it.

The show began with a death.  It bothered some of the vanillas around us.  "How could a circus begin with a death?!  What the hell kind of circus is this?"  I was annoyed by the mutterings I caught around me as they tried to fathom the plot.  For the first time in a long time I was on my home turf in all my freakish counterculture glam glory and THEY did not get to dictate the rules.  Fuck yeah, this circus began with a death.  Why not?  Now shut up and see what marvelous antics happen in the afterlife, grandpa.  

Every act was a twistedly whimsical and some times beautiful spectacle with a dark undercurrent.  It's been compared to something Tim Burton would create but I think it was simply a show that had been bubbling up in the dark corners of Los Angeles for a long time.  I've had creative thoughts along the lines of what I saw though in different shades.  It's time had simply come and this troupe had the balls to put it out there for the world to see.

The highlights were plenty.  With the exception of a singer who couldn't quite grasp the concept of being on key and a mic issue at the beginning, it was a flawless performance.  I was particularly struck by the Wandering Marionettes doing a hip hop ballroom dance.  They changed my perception of street dancing in such a way that I have plans to go hit a few classes in the next months and integrate street moves into some acts.  I also thought pulling a hat from a rabbit was the right kind of wrong.  

I hope Cirque Berzerk has a long and perverse life.  They've come a long way from the snippets I saw at the Edwardian Ball to what I witnessed last night.  It took a tremendous amount of work, discipline and guts to do what they did.  I respect that and find it inspiring.

Slowly, the force of my will is making headway in the way my daily life functions.  Soon, I will have more time.  And with that wealth of time I will be able to resume my creative endeavors.  I won't have to trade sleep or other necessary expenditures to have moments of fulfillment.

Tonight is the closing night of Cirque Berzerk in Downtown LA.  I will be there.

It was a smotheringly hot Los Angeles evening when we stepped out in our finery to spend time at The Edison soaking up the performance art of Lucent Dossier. We weren't prepared for the ridiculous velvet rope or the crowds of hipsters in jeans much less the intense heat.

Upon arrival, just after 9 pm, there were two massive lines in front of the entrance to The Edison. One was general entrance and the other was the Will Call line for those who had already purchased tickets. Neither __wolverine__ nor I understood how the place could be full at 9 pm or what was governing the rope because we saw people allowed in who were not standing in any line. They also weren't particularly hot or remotely famous. But that's the way the velvet rope works - it's a lawless crap shoot. I wasn't in the mood to try to work the situation. I was too busy being annoyed at the lack of dress code adherence and the fact that the perfect finger waves in my hair were slowly coming undone in the humidity of the night. We stood there and waited for about twenty minutes.

Descending into the venue was a trip into another world. The Edison is extremely high end. The best way to describe it is to compare it to a 1930's parlor or drawing room with steampunk touches. It is also small. I had expected a much larger space. It became clear to me why they handled the door the way they did. Because the place used to be a power plant, it wasn't built to have a flow conducive to crowds. If something went wrong, it'd be a deathtrap inside. Moving around the place with the crowd was tricky work, particularly in five inch heels. The ground was very slick and uneven.

The bar staff was among the worst I've ever experienced. They were unfriendly and unable to handle the large crowds. There was a lot of snobbery in place as well. I haven't encountered such attitude in a long time. Come to think of it, the entire staff was very "I'm way too hip to be helping you, so consider this an act of charity." It's a turn off. I drink less in those cases.

We managed to procure our drinks after quite a bit of waiting and found a corner with some chairs that we could lounge in. It was ridiculously hot and my makeup must have melted right off my face. At one point, I wondered if sweating was twice as bad for real pearls than the usual contact with flesh. I had taken out the strand of pink pearls __wolverine__ gave me for Xmas one year and worn them. I rarely wear my real jewelry. It's generally wasted on people who can't tell the difference. I get more compliments on the fake, cheap costume jewelry I own than the real thing. But I had thought we were going somewhere genuinely posh with people who had real money.

Once we had settled just a bit, I finally took note of the music and the way the acts were melting in and out of the room. It was exactly what I had been trying to do with a few things in the past. Now I could see that it worked. We saw a bondage aerial act that totally entranced me and a member of Elysium Dance Troupe (formerly of Desert Sin) did a performance that was straight out of Fifth Element or any scifi fantasy film. Club performance art had finally lived up to my aesthetic and played out creative notions I've had.

Esza Kaye arrived after we'd been there a bit. She was dripping in silver and black beads like a vision out of a 1930's film. She was a kid in a candy store watching the acts transpire in various spots about the venue. I just love watching her.

As the night progressed, a number of girls became very wasted. Given the heat, it's not surprising. I was extremely hung over this morning and I did not drink heavily. I am positive it was more dehydration than alcohol intake. There were two girls in particular who decided to 'audition' for Lucent Dossier by trying to create impromptu 'acts.' At one point, one of them humped my leg in what was supposed to be a 'belly dance.' I had to wave her away from me. I knew if I touched her, I'd probably get thrown out. Security was a bit full of itself along with the rest of the staff. It was after that little encounter that I overheard them plotting to get into the troupe. Good luck, girls. You need to take a lot of dance classes and other acrobatic instruction before you can even think about it. I'm pretty sure they were not impressed by your pole humping hoochie video girl routine. No one was. Not even the drunk men of your ilk.

The Edison itself is just gorgeous. I could spend a great deal of time there. The crowd, however, I could do without. There were the occasional edgy people and hardcore vintage types but most of the room was the Hollywood trendy set. I have to admit to being surprised they were even open to the Burning Man meets dark subculture performance style of Lucent Dossier. While I hardly begrudge them the success of being a sold out show, I'll be glad to see the fickle trendy crowd find some other subject matter to ruin.

On our way out, we ran into John from Dark Romance and a musician, Chris, who had composed the original music used by Lucent Dossier. I had expected to see more people I knew. I had expected a very different scene, full of creativity and highly artistic attire.

We left just as the crowd was thinning. We were very tired and ridiculously hot. __wolverine__ took the Jag's top down and I held my prized Taissa Lada revamp 1940s hat in my lap as the wind whipped the painstakingly created finger waves out of my platinum hair and cooled off my sticky skin.

Last night was epic. I knew the minute my email and cellphone were flooding with 'you have to go to Ruin tonight' that it would be a special evening. It was one of those strange convergences of underground glitterati and the call of a sultry Southern California night after a roasting passage of hours. I already had designs on being there but the excitement that was building around this one night was electric. It's the kind of thing that just adds to the pageantry of an evening out.

We arrived late, even for goths, having had wardrobe issues. I had an eyelash drama (followed by a very tense face off with liquid liner) that nearly killed the entire excursion but I managed to save the situation by some miracle and a lot of deep breaths. I left the house rocking a Lip Service Mourning Gown and a brand new taissalada design on my head. __wolverine__ finally wore a frock coat I bought for him for a Xmas in the last couple of years.

Ruin was wall to wall bodies both inside and out. Right away I was receiving of my traditional hug from nephilim_child. We had made a beeline for the bar and there he was perched at the corner near the Absinthe Lounge.

It was simply too hot to remain indoors so we quickly gathered our party, consisting of rochellestarr and David, before taking over one of the cabanas on the rooftop for the duration of the evening. From our vantage point, and in the process of the usual musical chairs that happens in a club as people move about, I was able to watch the parade of who's who as well as monitor the performance of Reverend Tommy Gunn's Freakshow Deluxe.

It was far too crowded for me to meet everyone. I had heard rumors that various artists and other VIPs would be attending as we all share an interconnected network of friends in common. I had the opportunity to meet Jill Tracy, who is a wildly talented performance artist and a lovely woman to behold. She wore a divine collection of vintage inspired clothing crowned by a Noxenlux hat. She was enchanting to converse with and her manners were truly a remarkable throwback to a previous era.

I also met Paul Mercer, who turned out to be a blast from my past. Unfortunately, I cannot pinpoint when or where I met him, though I want to say it was Dragon Con. As was the case with Jill, we had plenty of friends in common. He was spending a large portion of his night with one of the Julians of the LA goth scene I've known through the years. He's very witty and has that roguish charm I adore in men yet is so infrequent these days.

Shockingly enough, I saw dirtnap13 in the crowd. I couldn't believe it. I know he is about as scarce as I am when it comes to frequenting club nights in recent memory. While I've known who he is for years and we've met every so often at events, we've struck up a friendship via the internet recently. He's just as delightful in person. He was merrily interacting with the crowd through out the evening.

The latest flyer girl face of Ruin, Erika of Glamourlush Makeup, was gliding about the crowd in all her elegant glory. I hadn't seen her since she did my makeup for Hex last year. It was divine to watch her glow in the sea of darkness. She was like a glittering ruby with her gorgeous scarlet hair.

The Notorious Loveless, Jovan, who is incidentally the guitar player for the new band Among The Weeds, came by to hang out in our cabana for a short while. He reported that the band was progressing well before melting back into the crowd.

I spent the greater part of the evening with my gorgeous girlfriend rochellestarr (who was a stunning vision of gothic elegance) while keeping an eye on Freakshow Deluxe or, rather, the reaction the crowd was having to the performance. It delighted me to watch people stop cold in conversation at certain points, such as when Amy Amnesia started to jump up and down on broken glass. It's a very distinct sound that most individuals would pause to categorize. I nearly didn't hear it because I've grown used to it. I was also pleased to see that Tommy Gunn had worked the sexy Amazon goddess Kitty Karloff into more acts. It was decided by our entire cabana that sparks and boobs were a winning combination.

Speaking of the enigmatic Mister Gunn, he was far too busy to converse with much but we did manage to steal a moment near the end of the night to speak for the first time in quite a while. It's rare that we have face to face exchanges due to our crazy schedules. It's almost always when one, the other, or both of us are working. It's a series of conversational vignettes remarkably making up a greater subtext that has the strength of a deep relationship I rarely find in other human beings with whom I have far greater contact. Connection is a crazy thing. It happens in the most unexpected places and neither time nor neglect cannot seem to diminish it.

For the duration of the evening, the patio was packed. Between the Night Gallery artists displaying their creativity and the constant flow of sideshow feats, there was more allure to the tropic patio than merely a reprieve from the heat or a chance to partake of those cloves.

On the lips of many in the crowd was the tragic tale of the Xile street team's horrible accident the previous evening while driving home to Orange County from flyering at Perversion in Hollywood. It seems some bastard got onto the 5 freeway going the wrong way and slammed into the kids head on. Two died. One is in stable condition and the fourth is still fighting for their life. The story had been burning up the internet all day and by nightfall there were still people who hadn't heard the news. The thoughts, prayers and well wishes of many are directed toward the family and friends of the victims.

As the evening drew to a close, and we were banished from the patio by security, we made our way inside to offer our good-byes to friends. xianvox was driving the dance floor into a final frenzy with her set. It's been a long time since I've heard people hollering in joy at a goth club as music transitioned from one song to another. It was an eclectic, sexy mix of songs from old favorites to new offerings. Like a modern day pied piper, xianvox kept the energy going even past the lights going up to signify the end of the evening. As we left to beat the crowd to the valet, the dance floor was still full.

My friend Tommy Gunn was on last night's episode of MTV's Room 401.

You can check it out here. He uses one of his sideshow skills in a supernatural meets Punk'd setting.

This is not for the faint of heart!

I'm only posting a few of these here. The rest are on my website as the latest gallery update.


( More silliness within... )

The subconscious is a sadistic creature. I'm in a perfectly great frame of mind. I've cut back on the negative influences that were once more creeping back into my world. I've focused on being in the moment and looking toward the future. Everything is going according to plan or at least within acceptable limits of said plan. But my subconscious is betraying me in my sleep - sending me creepy, nightmarish thoughts while I slumber that stick with me into waking hours. Some of these dreams are so deeply rooted in fact that it's almost difficult at times to separate the fiction. Further, there is nothing I can do about the people or events being conjured. They are no longer relevant or at hand. I feel haunted. It is inconvenient and I plan to take a long walk in the early evening to vanquish what remains of these shades of half truth.

nycbluegirl finished the multimedia piece I posed for a couple of weeks ago. She was quite exuberant while telling me the details of her final touches. I am very excited about seeing it finished at The Hive event this weekend. We're already scheming about working together again though in a very different way.

I've been on the case of our director of Angels In The Dark in regards to what sort of presentation we'll be doing for Tax Me Deadly. That was the original reason I approached Mister Gunn about doing a show. So, I'm rather driven to deliver on that arrangement. We'll be cutting it very close.

I wish I could relate some of the projects/goals I've been slowly working on since the beginning of the year that are just starting to blossom but it's all delicate in nature. It is an exciting time. But, like many things in Hollywood, it could ultimately go nowhere. I can't tell you how many times actors or artists here say, "I'm about to turn that corner to something big!" yet nothing happens. It isn't that these moments aren't authentic. It's that they often fizzle for various reasons out of a single person's control or the steps aren't as mighty as they seem. I also think that these changes can often be very subtle for those of us living them yet make a massive impact on the outside world. I was recently told a story about myself that left me shocked. I had no idea I had made the kind of ripples that were the centerpiece of this tale.

Just another wild week in Hollywood, right?

I received the script outline from The Reverend Tommy Gunn last night for Tax Me Deadly.

Wow. Impressive. I mean, there's a plot and a weaving of story between acts. I knew Freak Show Deluxe was going this direction because he and I talk frequently about what this type of show could be in a more realized and produced environment. He has risen to the occasion with flair and imagination. I expect nothing less of his marvelous mind.

This show could be quite the moment in time.

Project name: Taking The Jesus Pill
Project type: Multimedia Theater
Rate/Compensation: Credit

Audition Date: May 5th 2006 12pm to 7 pm
Audition Location: King King Hollywood
6555 Hollywood Blvd in Hollywood

Performance Dates: June 21st, 28th, July 5th, 19th, 26th, August 2nd

Performance Location: King King Hollywood

Project Notes:

www.takingthejesuspill.com

Taking the Jesus Pill is an original cutting-edge production created by Musician/Co-Writer Charlie Terrell and Executive Produced by Polly Parsons (the lone daughter of late alt-country-rock icon, Gram Parsons, whose life directly and indirectly serves as the spiritual center of the play). Described by Terrell as “a Southern Gothic tale about a snake-handling preacher, his alcoholic wife and his wild-ass daughter,” Taking the Jesus Pill unfolds its multi-media narrative in a way you’ve never seen before, intertwining drama, painting, live music, surreal film and dance – all held together by an omnipresent narrator, who propels the story along through live performances with his tight roots-rock band.

This is an open call. Please bring a current photo and arrive in costume. Be prepared for an improv situation or to demonstrate your performance art. If your show involves music, please bring a CD clearly marked. Inexpensive parking is available in a structure on Cherokee north of Hollywood Blvd. and west of Whitley.

Roles:

Disciples Of The Church Without Fear / Featured / Female and Male / All Ethnicities / 21-?

The Disciples of The Church Without Fear are free spirited, hedonistic members of a southern cultish environment, sensationalizing and reveling in the darker aspects of humanity. The aesthetic is a hybrid of Jack the Ripper’s Victorian London and the lurid cabarets of 1930’s Germany. The ambiance of the Church Without Fear is hauntingly beautiful and exquisitely grotesque rather like a circus gone high fashion but utterly deprave. Tattered chic, gothic high fashion, macabre burlesque, dusty historical... so long as the color palette remains within blacks and reds as a common thread, any creative variation of this is encouraged. (If you don’t have costuming at the moment that fits the palette, that’s fine. Come with what you have.)

We are seeking unique, edgy and unusual looking people from the beautiful to the freakish with an ability to create a three dimensional character or be a self contained piece of performance art (stilt walkers, fire breathers, contortionists, interactive human paintings, magicians etc.) and live within a fully interactive environment that makes use of the entire theatrical space. Artists will need to have the ability to do heavy improv and a willingness to draw the audience into the experience via bold interaction. Please be comfortable with scanty clothing, ladies. No nudity.