"Enlightenment is ego's ultimate disappointment." -- Chögyam Trungpa


The heat continues to be prematurely brutal in Los Angeles. Today's forecasts have it becoming as hot as 100 degrees. It's 94 at the moment. I've been unwilling to leave the comfort of the air conditioning for very long save in the evening when the heat mixed with the night becomes sultry. It makes it difficult for me to accomplish much during daylight.

Given the heat, the gym was quite the three ring circus last night. Normally, the few of us who use it manage to spread ourselves out through the day and evening so everyone has a chance to use the limited amount of equipment as well as the treadmill. I waited until it had dropped into the 80's to attempt my workout only to discover the gym full. I waited until after 9 pm to get in. Even then, people still kept arriving. I didn't stick around for my weight routine after doing cardio. The air conditioning was off so I was absolutely smothered by the hot air and drenched in sweat by the time I was finished.

Auditions begin this afternoon for my theater company's first formal production of the year. It's a 1930's murder mystery so, of course, I am dying to do a reading. I plan to wait until tomorrow, given the weather. It's promising to be far less sweltering out.

I have finished and turned in my final "Where To Eat" column for Frontiers. Due to a variety of revelations and circumstances, I decided I wanted to make a change. I'll miss the perks of covering restaurants in Los Angeles. I am, however, looking forward to doing something new with my writing skills. I've returned to the general contributor pool at the magazine and time will tell what will be next for me in that realm.

If you've made it this far, you are probably wondering why I used the above quote as I haven't been theming my post toward that end. We all deal with ego every day - ours and those of others. The brand of ego I get to deal with here in Tinsel Town is different than what the average person encounters in normal life. It's hyper real. It's a bit ridiculous. And, it's dangerous.

A friend was recently telling me about one of his performances this past weekend and how an audience member who was very into his show came up afterward to talk. Eventually, he became upset that my friend had no idea who he was and hadn't seen any of his work. I must run into people like that on a weekly basis. It always makes me laugh. "Don't you know who I am?!" is one of the most idiotic things I've ever heard come out of a person. It's even funny when I see it with a real superstar. It's such an egotistical reaction. I'm personally floored when someone is honestly familiar with my work or has heard of me. And, if they liked my work, I'm deeply moved. I prefer that. It's far more magical than any expectation.

Part of my spiritual journey lately has been learning to deal with ego - both mine and others. I think it's a natural progression here in Hollywood. You can see it in such prime examples as Madonna, Prince and others who go from wild decadence to a spiritual grounding (though I feel that fierce sexuality and spirituality are not separate creatures nor meant to be). I'm finally understanding how that comes about as I have been exiting my own period of excess. It was propositioned to me that perhaps my spiritual search was motivated by a need to secure my identity and sense of safety. I've been considering it all morning and afternoon. How is it wrong to want to be comfortable with yourself and have a sense of safety? I realize that as part of a spiritual progression, who you are changes and your sense of self or safety can be shaken to the core. It's required for growth. And I certainly don't do any of this to impress anyone. I do it so I can interact with the world more efficiently and peacefully as well as make choices born out of wisdom and a connection to my intuition.

The reason I don't take acting classes at this phase in my life is that most often when I end up in one, they are generally geared toward the basic concepts behind the craft because the participants in such workshops tend to be anywhere from beginner to advanced. That isn't to say that returning to the basics isn't a good thing or useful but I end up getting very little out of these classes because I'm not being challenged as much as the newer actors. I think I learn more by the process of being cast and working in that environment.

Mister Koenig is everything you'd expect of an actor who has been doing his thing successfully for 50 years. He told the stories I hope for in these workshops from which I derive inspiration and mentoring. He talked about truth in acting rather than 'performing.' I've worked very hard since I started doing film to get away from highly theatrical acting and instead take on a natural style of working that is about creating truth from which the humor or tragedy comes rather than denoting it via affectation. It was an important thing to mention and I appreciated his insight into it. He also drove home the point that making distinct choices that have to fight against resistance or some other force to be realized is what makes good drama. I need to work on making interesting choices right off the bat in everything I do - particularly auditions. I know my cold reading and auditioning can be very weak.

I didn't get a lot of feedback save for a couple of adjustments and a positive response for having fulfilled all the needs of the scene well. (It's what always happens to me in scene studies for the past five years.) That makes me paranoid. It frustrates me too. I want to be pushed so I can grow. The only thing that freaked me out was being asked to improv our scene so that we got the scripts out of our hands and it was all emotion or reaction to the other person. I did shockingly well, though I have to say that I've spent three days on a movie that was all improvisation so I've been learning what makes improv good or bad. I remembered to drive the scene with my goal and the other actor kept his goal firmly in hand as well. I had a great time.

The only other remarkable part of the night was the very powerful, positive response to my work in the play I just did. The fact that it stayed with people for two weeks to the point of wanting to tell me how much they enjoyed it was so touching, particularly given the calibre of talent one of these people themselves displayed. It was refreshing and it felt very good. Part of the point of being an actor is achieving a level of truth that is so real and honest, it resonates with other people or affects them in some fashion. It means you did your job. And that's the kind of appreciation I want out of my career. I seem to be heading the right direction.

Life happens when you go out into the world and in Hollywood all of that human contact is what takes you to the places you need to be to get somewhere. I feel as if the needs of a successful evening were met.

I had another slow start to the day. I'm still very spent from the weekend. I only just started to feel as if I could move. It was just in time for the ten minutes of violent storming that passed over North Hollywood. The wind knocked over my little lamppost and then had its way with the palm trees, which wailed in mighty protest. It's still dark, gusty and rainy in scattered, mercurial moments.

I had a mysteriously impish phone call from the lovely ivy_blue monday evening. It's so rare that people begin creating and pull me into the process. I'm usually the one doing that. While I have yet to find out the idea, it was refreshing to have that energy pointed my direction.

Hmm. The sun seems to have peered past that strange little tropical storm. It's as if it never happened.

The feathery movie has settled on a second weekend of shooting and it's quite unfortunate for me. It'll be the weekend before Tax Me Deadly which stresses me out to the point of anger. I specifically didn't want this to happen. So, I intend to allow myself that fury today before I finish with it entirely to focus on what needs to get done. I'm working with a very talented makeup artist who's ideas are sexy, fresh and inventive. He's a complete darling and I prefer to revel in the synergy between us rather than anything else.

I had planned to go to a number of events this week just to get out into the world and network as well as be inspired. I've also had some artists reach out to me to share. With this news of my impending schedule, I may have to once more set aside socializing. I'm tossed. For example, tonight is the screening of a movie I'm in at the ArcLight (which is an odd little mile stone for me) and then there is a beautiful local jazz singer who has the same taste in musical phrasing performing at the Catalina Jazz Club I recently met.

I signed up for an acting workshop at The Underground Theater tomorrow. I haven't done a scene study in a couple of years so I thought it would be a fantastic addition to the honing I've been methodically doing. I just checked up on the credits of the person teaching the class to discover it's being taught by Chekov from Star Trek. That's right - Walter Koenig. It'll be very interesting. I can add to my collection of Hitchcock stories since he worked with him once before his Star Trek days.

I fell asleep last night to the marvelously exotic scent of jasmine once again. It was so thick in the air after this oddly summer like weather fooling the flower into blossoming. Someone in another apartment had an opera blasting but it came to me gently across the darkness. Normally, I'd be upset by loud music at 4 am but it was classical music. How can that be anything but delightful?

I was told that huge posters for the special April 15th show went up in the venue this weekend. I had no idea they had been made to begin with and the initial word they existed came in the form of the image of mine used. I finally saw the internet version today and I love it. I have been personally carefully controlling the release of information about this event since it'll be the world premiere of the Angels In The Dark trailer. (So now you know!) It'll also be a rare burlesque performance on my part. And, of course, the entire show is geared toward the film noir theme. Tommy Gunn really took to it and came up with a witty plot line to carry through the show. (Though, I always knew we'd work well together. We function similarly on certain levels.)

I have quite a bit of work to do in preparation for that one event. A month ago, that would have been daunting. But the empowering experience I just had at The Underground Theater has changed my perspective and unearthed even more that had been laying dormant inside. A whole month to prepare for a four minute routine plus a little PR for the movie? Bring it on.

It was a perfect Los Angeles night. I did a show that ended on a high, beautiful note. We drove around afterward in the sensuous Hollywood evening perfumed by night jasmine with the top of the Jag down to fetch a sinfully melty philly chicken cheese steak sandwich. Now I'm languishing in the moody light of our home watching The Dresden Files and Real Time With Bill Maher, that night jasmine wafting in through the screen door.

Life honestly doesn't get much better than nights like this one. I feel very satisfied.

Our final performance was lightening in a bottle. It was by far the best show we've done and I think we all relished it. Even the stories we were telling before hand in the dressing room were tales I'll always carry with me. Everything about the evening simply clicked into place as if it were always meant to be. I spent part of my time off stage texting back and forth with Reverend Tommy Gunn who was over doing his show, since I couldn't drop in. I felt part of the world in a meaningful way while also getting to finish doing something I've wanted to be part of since I first read the play. It's tremendous that I can say that about many things at this point in my life. I've checked off a number of dreams or deep desires from my list.

I feel very accomplished. It won't last. I'll start craving and desiring in a month or so. But for now, I'll enjoy it.

I feel very accomplished as a woman after last night. I made Moroccan cornish game hens, which were just divine, and then I dashed off to the theater to perform.

We have one more night left of the play. I'm very tired even with such a short run. It's probably due to the material as well as our crazy rehearsal schedule. It was all very intense. Taking such a difficult journey so many times in a row can be taxing.

I am looking forward to doing absolutely nothing on Monday. I have production design to hunker down upon and another performance on April 15th for a special event. Compared to the last two weeks, it will be easy sailing. I also plan to spend a considerable amount of time in the gym. Now that I've been programmed to bust my tail for four hours a day no matter what else is going on with my chaotic calendar, I should be capable of so much that seemed difficult to fit in a mere fourteen days ago. That was part of my plan. Taking my workaholic ethic to a new level at the same time as pushing my acting skills to a new place.

Oh. I have an article due for the magazine tomorrow. I need to keep that in mind.

Tonight ought to be relatively quiet. I had hoped to pop over to Safari Sam's to say hello to The Reverend Tommy Gunn before my call time at the theater but that just isn't in the cards with my last minute mentality ruling today. The whole Congress approved daylight savings time spring forward has stolen an inconvenient hour of my life I'd have preferred to keep for the next three weeks.

I have no idea where my head was tonight. It would have been fine save that during one pivotal scene, I was watching myself in this out of body way and my inner voice kept judging in this nagging fashion remarking, "You sound like William Shatner delivering lines." I couldn't make the voice go away. My perfectionism demon raged and it took all of my patience to set it aside for the seduction scene.

Somehow, it seemed to work, though I wasn't happy. I still had the profuse compliments from people I didn't know who went out of the way to say something, some of which was quite passionate. Perhaps I am being too hard on myself. Or maybe I made up for it enough in the last couple of scenes.

I did have a girlfriend from Jesus Pill, Natalia, show up. That was unexpected. I'd decided to just write everyone off and enjoy this for myself.

Tomorrow night, __wolverine__ is coming as well as a girlfriend from high school. That will keep me from doing stupid inner monologues or throwing away a scene in petulance because I'm judging my work instead of living it.

I don't think words are powerful enough, even in capable hands, to recreate this evening. It was one of the most pure performance experiences I have had in quite some time. Passion for theater, the craft of acting, was worshiped with joyful appreciation by both the cast and the audience. I don't know that I've ever performed for a more thoughtful, willing group of people.

The show was simply fantastic. It felt great. It was well directed and produced. The soundtrack rocked. And all the emotional power behind it was intense. Our theater virgin, Prodigal Jones, was probably the person who grew the most in the past two weeks. He's an absolute riot on stage. The monologue I have been struggling with was the greatest adventure. I'm one of those actors who really blossoms in the moment, not in rehearsals. As I launched that piece, I was tossed into an emotional zone I hadn't experienced once in all my practice, though the foundation of the work I did made that possible. My tale of sexual abuse and revenge, the impetus for my man-hating lesbian ways, hit all the right notes. And my nonplussed exit out of it got a palpable reaction. The seduction scene has always been strong but it felt so real. Everyone has a great moment or two and our leading lady is a phenomenal actress. It was all such fun.







I would have been very content with just that. But the experience of being in the lobby afterward and having people give such thought out feedback was something I can't say I've ever been on the other end of in all my years. I loved it. I think the best comment was from a lady who had seen this play done before and didn't quite grasp it until now.

Once again, as seems to be a theme for the productions I'm involved in, there is a lot of skin in this show. It's always amusing how shocking that is, particularly in California. Women at the beach wear less than some of the costumes we wore. It also dawned on the male cast members that my last scene is in nothing but a bra and a black satin waist cincher. Somehow, they hadn't noticed during our rehearsals.

I believe the show will be taped at some point and a friend of mine with a great photographic eye may show up so I could very well have evidence of this work for posterity.

Either way, it's so satisfying to put out work that is excellent. Being back in a spotlight is a beautiful thing. Having people actually like the work and take the time to say as much makes me feel so very elated.

Our final two run throughs of the play were shockingly satisfying. It's a good show worth watching. Everyone has done a marvelous job of pulling it together in a mere two weeks. To say that I am proud and deeply content with this journey up to this point is an understatement. I have had my artistic butt kicked up and down the Underground Theater stage. While I wish this had happened sooner, as it was what I craved during the entire Jesus Pill production, I'm less starved for expression and personal challenge. I still feel as if I have so much more to learn and grow into as an actor but I'm feeling more confident about what I can do. Being told that the scenes between myself and the main character feel real was the best compliment I've had in quite some time. I have worked very hard to be that kind of artist.

I was standing in the lobby waiting for an entrance at one point. Everyone's headshots were laying out, ready to be put up on the board for our performances. I had to laugh to myself because everyone had color pictures with a similar style. And there was mine, in black and white, looking like a throw back to the glamour shots of Old Hollywood. It stands out. I wasn't able to decide if that was good or bad. I've opted to tell myself it is better to be remembered. My other choice didn't strike me as constructive or a good expenditure of energy.

Out of curiosity, I scanned everyone's resumes. One actor has been on several soap operas and Third Watch. The actress I've connected with the most played Susie Q in Cry-Baby when she was seven. Another actress is about to appear in that Bratz: The Movie still in production. It just made me think once again how many talented people there are in the world that most of us couldn't name.

So, we go up tomorrow. I need to somehow coax myself down from the mountain of hyper energy I'm on in order to get a good night's rest. I want to finish putting crystals on one of my lingerie pieces so the glue will be dry by tomorrow night. I have to finish putting together headshots/resumes for the industry folders we'll be giving out.

It was one of those days when people seemed to be missing a screw or two and circumstances played in unsettling ways. Patience was my best friend and I simply said as little as possible. I just turned off my brain as frequently as I could to spare myself from going postal and doing my high heel shoe hurling from the local clocktower.

We did a tech cue to cue for the play. For anyone not sure what that means, it's when the actors work through any cues that require sound or light changes. It's a very tedious process. I have to tell you that I now have a new appreciation for the paper tech. I will never roll my eyes at that concept the next time a production manager tells me it needs to be done. I get it now!

So, we have one more day of rehearsal. We have yet to do a full run-through of the entire piece. Normally, I'd be freaking out but the same thing happened with Jesus Pill. The very first full run of the entire piece was the opening night, in front of all the press. And, somehow, we did it.

I'm just exhausted. I need to stay up and take care of some smaller projects, as well as figure out which restaurant I am covering for my column in Frontiers next.

As a side note of utter disgust, I heard about the doctor here in Bakersfield who refused to treat a child with an ear infection because his mother has tattoos. It makes me sad if not nauseated to read this sort of thing. How is it anything like Jesus to refuse a child in pain, as we all know ear infections hurt, because his mother decorates her flesh? I can at least understand the birth control issue a bit but this is just down right cruel and arrogant. Wouldn't it be ironic if this same doctor were in need of help himself and he was refused by someone with multiple piercings because it was that person's belief that anyone without piercings violated his spiritual path? I have no idea how that doctor looks at himself in the mirror every day but I'd be willing to bet that Jesus, were he up in heaven looking down at this whole incident, would be crushed by his teachings being used in such a demeaning, poisonous way.





Happy Birthday to the lovely pinup princess aboriginal.

I'm sure this blog space has grown dreadfully dull. The only thing I have to talk about is rehearsing since it's been the primary focus of all my time. It doesn't make for the most scintillating of reading. It's been frustrating and stressful to put up a full length play in 14 days. I'm only just getting to the point where I feel as if I am exploring my character and truly connecting with the others on stage.

Thankfully, production on the little movie I'm designing for has been pushed further into March. I'm so grateful. I'd like to do it the justice it deserves.

That little AFI film I did last year on the Universal Lot is finished. It will premiere in a couple of weekends. The website went back up recently too. There isn't much there. I had hoped for set stills or trailers but it's still being constructed. I don't have a very large role in it.

I hear that we have a shortage of bees in the US. That is down right chilling. Granted, I'm allergic to the little things but we need them. The fact that there are suddenly upwards of 70% fewer bees in some areas is troubling.

I've been reading quite a few reviews from past performances of In The Boom Boom Room to try and come up with a synopsis to explain what it is about. As it often is the case with theater, this show has been revised and tailored to suit the interpretation of our director's vision. Characters have been cut and motivations have been altered from what the original text is going after. The original play is a far darker and unforgiving piece than the one we've been creating. It's still harsh and twisted but it's easier to see how confusing a young woman's life can become as well as why she'd just allow herself to be objectified rather than take hold of her personal power. It's a dirtier, more intense story of an Ophelia that focuses on her rather than making her tragedy peripheral to the men and women who tear her soul apart.

Set primarily against the tawdry, desperate backdrop of a go go club in Philadelphia where the women have big dreams that go nowhere though they nightly play out their inner fantasies with a delusional ferocity, Chrissy tries to out run her past and find herself in the arms of others - both men and women - all the while spiraling downward. She's pulled in various directions by her ADD gay neighbor, the two very different men who entice themselves into her bed and the seductive passes of the ring mistress of The Boom Boom Room as she slowly uncovers a terrible secret buried in the depths of her past.

Hamlet had nothing on the madness of Ophelia's heart-breaking fall.

In The Boom Boom Room tells the story of a post war America where relationships are violently muddled and everyone tears the hearts out of others while frantically trying to find love in all the wrong places. It sets up that single moment we all of us live through time and again that either breaks us down into jaded shadows of our former selves or makes us larger beacons of humanity in an often insane world.






Today is the natal day of a ridiculously beautiful woman I've been blessed to have as a friend. Happy Birthday ivy_blue! Meow, kitty kat!

We open in 7 days.

I'm sick as can be, sprouting yet another saga of illness out of this same bug. But I'm not taking it lying down. Vitamins, soup, medication and sleep have been aggressively part of my daily routine. If it weren't so damn cold (for Los Angeles), I'd probably be in a better place. I'm going to break out the Nyquil at this point. I'd rather be a walking zombie for a couple of days than continue to sneeze my way through rehearsals.

By this weekend, we should be getting to the point where the interesting things happen. Everyone will be off book and we can focus on the world we've been building. It's already starting to come to life. It's twisted, funny, sexy and troubling.

I'd give anything to spend a full day in bed, but I signed up for this knowing I'd be getting my ass kicked. It has been eye opening to see where I fall in the scheme of things as an actor. I have some work to do to be on the same playing field as the actors I admire in this cast. I am extremely grateful for that.

I've had a number of emails and requests for information about the play I'm doing as it will have a very limited run. It's technically a talent showcase rather than a full run of a production.

We will be performing March 8-11th at The Underground Theater - 8 pm. Tickets will more than likely be $10 and only available at the door.

I probably won't have an official show postcard until this weekend. There is so much going on that particular weekend so I didn't want to wait too long to get the details out there.

I have had about three hours of sleep. The problem with shoving so much stuff into the brain, for me, is then trying to get the brain to shut up for necessary things like sleep. I'll be hoping for nap time the second I hit the theater but something tells me I'll be working the entire five and a half hours with every fiber of my half fried being.

I should be typing up my character history, not this. It's all in my head, though I haven't figured out little details like what my parents did for a living or if I had a pet. I just have the broad strokes and later life figured out.

Somehow, in the midst of all this, I'm going to be the production designer for a little movie that begins shooting the weekend this play goes up. I won't be able to do the precise job I'd like because of the schedule and limited budget. However, I think if I came in with a color palette and a rigid 'world' created in my head, I'd be fought. Who knows? What's even more funny is the fact that I can just do this without wondering what the hell the position entails. It violates my 'no production without acting' rule but I have a reason for this one. It suits a goal.

And thus ends my screw around/wake up time.

The next 14 days are going to be rough. I'm completely wiped out from the first rehearsal. The trip home wasn't exactly a joy, either. Fridays in Hollywood is a crap shoot. Sometimes it's fun but it can also be awful in an ugly, mental hospital sort of way. Tonight was down right scary.

This play is a series of monologues strung along by some dialogue, for the most part. And it's a character study within a slice of hyper real life. None of these characters are well adjusted or normal. I'm struggling, even with a role that is a shade of me gone jaded (and lesbian). I expect to be drowning a bit for at least the first week.

But this is why I joined this company. I didn't want easy. I am going to come out the other end of this with so much. I'll get pushed hard. But when it all comes together, it will feel like nothing I could describe to anyone who hasn't been bit with the acting bug. This is the single most intelligent artistic move I've made in quite some time.

The staging of this will be innovative, though not outside of my experience, given my recent Jesus Pill past. I'm going to see if I can bust my tail in the gym so I can get scandalous with my costuming. It's not enough time to be ripped or see much progress but it might be just enough to make a difference. I should have been working harder with the fitness because I generally get cast as a sex symbol. I wouldn't be in this position with better habits.

I eat, sleep and drink this play from now on. No parties (Curse all of you going to the Oscar After Parties!). No playtime. No auditions. No distractions.

All discipline.

I'm so excited and so freaked out all at once.


On the sad side, my iPod mini froze. I have no idea what happened. It just stopped playing and the display won't change no matter what I do. It won't even turn off. I was just standing on the sidewalk hailing a cab. It's very cold out. 48 degrees is icy for us here. I half wonder if it literally froze.

I was cast in the role of Susan for In The Boom Boom Room by David Rabe at the Underground Theater.

We open in the first week of March for a very short run.

I have waited for about 20 years to be in this play. So my level of thrill is off the charts.

The staged reading was a lot of fun tonight. I like the variety in our company thus far. And some of the faces are familiar. The guy I read opposite of tonight also did the Dillinger documentary we filmed early last year at Sable Ranch. He played Dillinger. It's such a small world.

I received a strange email this morning from an elated director or producer who had just been nominated for an Academy Award in short films. I had no idea how I managed to get onto his list and he didn't recognize me either when I asked. But tonight, during the break in acts, I overheard one of the founding members of the company say that he had something to do with that same movie. Mystery solved. And, wow, am I glad I picked this theater company out of all the dozens I could have been tempted by.

In the 11th hour, I was offered an audition in the morning for something huge. I didn't expect to get called in at all. My submission was very much wishful thinking on my part. I'm stunned to be wrong. And, of course, I have less than 24 hours to get it together. I'm trying to decide if I should just not sleep or go directly to bed and wake up at some ungodly hour in the morning.

I walked all over Hollywood so much that I shed the little bit at the end of a heel and a number of rhinestones. After being stuck inside with a small fever over the weekend, it was liberating to just be out and active. It's still a tad chilly in Los Angeles but it was so beautiful outside and the air was full of the myriad of city smells I love so much. It was my first trip out with the iPod mini, too. Most of the music loaded on it is dreamy and relaxing - including some of my favorite classical compositions ever put to parchment. It was the perfect soundtrack to my travels.

I have the script for tomorrow's reading. (Thank all that is holy I will be too busy to pay attention to the State Of Confusion speech.) It's just darling and very well written. I'm impressed if this is the calibre of talent I can expect from the other members of this company. I hope someone decides to direct it. It deserves to be seen.

There are some delicious perks popping up from my little "What To Eat" column in Frontiers. I'm starting to get invites to new restaurant openings and culinary events. I am certainly not complaining about that. I adore glamorous nights out in beautiful places with good food and excellent wine.

Due to a couple of opportunities I was offered very suddenly, I declined auditioning for Underground Theater's first showcase of new company members. But my backup plan was to do a staged reading of some original work from an Underground Theater writer. It turns out that I was picked to do just that. I'm very pleased to attain my goal of participating by February.

I let a situation slip through my fingers this weekend. I'm disappointed in myself for that, though I was legitimately under the weather. But there may very well be something to take its place. I'm not entirely certain. Someone I've worked with in the past came to me with a cryptic offer I haven't yet heard back on.

Theoretically, I will also start production this week on something very unique and quite scandalous. I won't be talking much about it, save in general terms. For example, it involves feathers. Lots and lots of feathers.

I had the most surreal exchange with a producer today who was asking me about my likes and dislikes for a possible project later in the spring. I haven't been in the position to pull many diva stunts and I just don't have a list of contractual demands. Most of my tantrums have been directed at people with no professionalism, not a strange requirement to only have the blue M&Ms picked out and served to me while the rest are tossed out or a deep need to only have dressing rooms painted a certain color with special light bulbs in all the lamps. (These are not jokes. It happens. It's so very wrong.) I couldn't even fathom furnishing him anything of the sort. In fact, if I ever get to a point where I'm one of those people, I hope a friend slaps me hard on the face and reminds me that I am just lucky to be working in my dream job.

Though, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have floating gardenias and candles in glass dishes in my dressing room every morning.